“The Silence of the Lambs” movie introduced me to the true meaning of the term psychopath. I still get chills down my spine whenever I remember those eyes, those piercing eyes that make me want to run far away and hide. Perhaps, the reason psychopaths scare me more than the insane, is that we know that the insane are, well, insane. They are not thinking straight. However, not only is a psychopath thinking straight, he is quite intelligent too. He is hiding. He is hiding behind a facade of feigned politness and emotions. Where the insane is not thinking straight, the psychopath is cunning and manipulative, pretending to be normal, biding his time.

I still remember my heart skipping a beat and a slow panic build up, when Valerie’s expression changes and she admits she’s a psychopath (in Remorse, an episode of House). The scariest villains are not the raving lunatics, who scream at you, threatening to pull your entrails out and wrap it around your neck. The scariest villains are the ones we don’t even perceive as villains, the ones who manipulate us into thinking they are the good guys, while framing others for their crimes.

Movies/books/shows I need to check out (having read about psychopathy):

• American Psycho
• Se7en
• Dexter
• A Clockwork Orange
• The Kite Runner

Trivia: The climax of the movie “Manu Uncle” was shot here.

The entrance to Adventure Park

The skating rink!

The tunnels! We used to have races through these.

The rope wall (or its remains, to be accurate)

The jumper (:P) . There was a rope ladder behind this to climb up and then jump down to each level.

The mangroves that border the park

Sigh.. Adventure Park..

Some of my favourite Malayalam movies are: Nadodikaattu, Manichithrathazhu, Kireedom, Nokketha Doorathu Kannum Nattu. Is it a coincidence that all of them are Lalettan movies?

I will attempt to post more often – something, anything. Use this a little more and use Twitter a little less.

I find myself metamorphosing into something harder and colder. No longer the romantic fool. No longer the playful child who stared awed at the world. No longer the fool who set out to conquer fate with the power of the heart. Humility. A lesson that was slapped onto my face. That man is NOT all conquering. That there are ALWAYS things bigger than you. I have stared at the stars many a time, feeling small, but with wonder. Now I feel small. Insignificant. If I can’t even control my own fate, how dare I be arrogant to think I can change the world.

I have been reclusive a lot in my life. Now it seems I am becoming more so. Social webs shrink unless you weave them often. Looks like I am drawing myself into a shell. Atleast the core of me is. There is a person before the eyes of the people I know. They see me. They do not see the inside of me. No one has ever. Not fully. Now I know, now I see, that it would forever remain that way.

I have stopped questioning why I am the way I am. I have changed bits and parts of me, but the core of me remains the same. Can I change it? Do I want to change it?

Surrounded by love, I know that this cynicism doesnt become me. Yet, there is more, there is more screaming within, than there is smiling without.

Why?

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Today, I witnessed a fairy tale unveil in front of my eyes. Surfing through the Digg pages, I stumbled across this video about a lady called Susan Boyle auditioning for Britain’s got Talent. This middle-aged woman appeared on stage, looking odd and out of place in the glitzy, glamorous arena of show biz. Her cheeky attitude brought a smile to my face, but nothing prepared me for what turned out to be, one of best live performances I have ever seen. Though I had never heard ‘I dreamed a dream’ (from Les Misérables) before, her rendition completely bowled me over. The judges and the audience were heavily skeptical and condescending before she started singing, and everyone had a ‘Yeah.. right!’ expression when she said she wanted to be as famous as Elaine Paige. However, two seconds into her song, and they were smitten. Susan Boyle became an international sensation in matter of days, with her online videos garnering millions upon millions of views. There are enough and more analysis on why her story has become so universally loved, but I am not here to delve on that. I am here because Susan Boyle has become one of my favourite singers, with just one song. I am here because Susan Boyle has inspired me, and millions around the world. I am here because, fairy tales are real, and I witnessed one.